By Gary Parrish

Wisconsin should be on everybody's ballot.

Connecticut shouldn't be on anybody's ballot.

I'll explain why in great detail in this edition of the Poll Attacks.

Associated Press poll: Three voters aren't including Wisconsin on their ballots.

That makes no sense considering Wisconsin is ...

• 17-5 overall, 6-3 in the Big Ten.
• on a five-game winning streak.
• the owner of wins over No. 11 UNLV and No. 20 Indiana.
• the owner of just one loss to a currently unranked team.
• ranked No. 2 at KenPom.com with a defense that ranks second nationally.

I seriously can't think of any way to justify not having Wisconsin on a Top 25 ballot.

So who are the guilty parties?

One of them Jack Bogaczyk. He didn't rank Wisconsin but he did rank Louisville -- a school that has one more loss to a currently unranked team than Wisconsin has and two fewer wins (i.e., zero total) over a currently ranked team than Wisconsin possesses. Another one of them is Steve Wiseman. He didn't rank Wisconsin but he did rank Harvard -- a school that has one more loss to a currently unranked team than Wisconsin has and one fewer win over a currently ranked team than Wisconsin possesses. And the third one is Nick Jezierny. He didn't rank Wisconsin but he did rank Connecticut ... and I'm about to explain just how silly Nick is for doing that.

Coaches poll: You know how many losses Connecticut has to currently unranked teams? Six. You know how many wins Connecticut has over currently ranked teams? Two. And the Huskies have lost three straight and five of their past seven. And yet somehow Jim Calhoun's team is still getting 21 points in the coaches poll (and two points in the AP poll thanks to my buddy Nick, who has UConn 24th on his ballot).

My question: How could anybody vote for Connecticut right now?

I mean, I like the roster, too.

But the team is undeniably average.

The Huskies have played 20 games and accomplished very little. They've lost to UCF on a neutral, to Seton Hall, Rutgers and Tennessee on the road, and to Cincinnati and Notre Dame at home, and none of those schools are in the latest coaches poll. The best wins are over No. 23 Harvard, No. 24 Florida State and unranked West Virginia, and two of those wins (FSU and Harvard) occurred ages ago. So, again, how could anybody vote for Connecticut right now? The only explanation is that a handful of coaches must've accidentally submitted ballots from last season. Either that or a handful of coaches are dumb or careless or both. And I'm actually surprised that Nick is the one writer voting for UConn because he's a knowledgeable lad. So I felt compelled to ask for an explanation. He responded with this: "I'm giving UConn [the] benefit of the doubt. I think no one wants to see them in March, but I can see why you want to attack me."

I was somewhat OK with that response because Nick basically acknowledged that his UConn vote isn't based on actual results of games. He just assumes the Huskies will be good eventually, and that's good enough for him. Granted, that's not how I believe somebody should be voting in late January. But whatever. At least Nick knows UConn doesn't have a body of work that's worthy of a Top 25 vote. That's all I wanted him to realize.

But he couldn't stop there.

My man just had to Tweet again.

"And I still think it would be a better use of your time to write about one of 340 men's bball teams than analyze ballots," Nick typed, to which I responded: "And I think it would be a better use of your time to watch Connecticut."